B’nai Mitzvah
The Journey of Becoming B’nai Mitzvah
The Larchmont Temple community is proud and honored to create an exploration for young Jews and their families to engage in joyful, authentic Jewish lives. Understanding their place as part of the Jewish people:
- Connected to the past and receiving the traditions of generations
- Celebrating the present by committing to Jewish living
- Shaping the future by making the world more whole
The Process
Larchmont Temple
(914) 834-6120
Larchmont Temple Clergy
Cantor Katie Oringel, ext. 118 - B’nai Mitzvah coordinator
Rabbi Jeffrey Sirkman, ext. 112
Rabbi Leora Frankel, ext. 122
Coordinate Meetings with Cantor Oringel & Rehearsal Schedule Management
Dana Robin, B’nai Mitzvah Administrative Assistant, ext. 111
Questions Regarding KESHER and the Journey of Becoming
Rabbi Eve Rudin, Director of Education, Youth and Families, ext. 128
Questions Regarding Mitzvah Projects and the B’nai Mitzvah Launch
Daniyel Berchenko, B’nai Mitzvah Specialist, ext. 123
Scheduling of Tutoring Appointments
Barry Konner, B’nai Mitzvah Tutor, (914) 393-7935
Reserving Space in the Temple and Finances
Jane Sable-Friedman, Executive Director, ext. 114
Accounting Office
Shara Kimmel, Accountant, ext. 126
Questions Regarding B’nai Mitzvah Dates
Katie Schein and Dana Carlos, B’nai Mitzvah Committee
Scheduling Family Meetings and Questions Regarding Honors
Julia Coss, Executive Assistant to Rabbi Sirkman & Office Manager, ext. 113
In the winter of 4th grade, parents will receive a questionnaire about dates for B’nai Mitzvah from the B’nai Mitzvah Committee, Katie Schein and Dana Carlos. They will organize all learners based on their birthdays and the questionnaire.
The B’nai Mitzvah Date Ceremony, held after KESHER on a Wednesday in early Spring, will reveal the cohort’s B’nai Mitzvah dates. New members who join after 4th grade will be assigned a date by the B’nai Mitzvah Committee after joining and registering for KESHER.
Things to keep in mind:
- Most B’nai Mitzvah dates at LT have 2 learners together.
- Single B’nai Mitzvah dates are not guaranteed.
- the B’nai Mitzvah Committee manages all date changes.
If you would like to discuss a date change, please contact the B’nai Mitzvah Committee.
If you would like to discuss an alternative option to better fit your learner’s needs, please contact Cantor Katie Oringel.
Journey of Becoming B’nai Mitzvah Timeline
7-8 Months Before Becoming B’nai Mitzvah
- Journey of Becoming class
- Hebrew – Focused on prayers for B’nai Mitzvah
5-7 Months Before Becoming B’nai Mitzvah
- B’nai Mitzvah Orientation
- One for January-June dates, one for September-December dates
- Family Meeting with Cantor Oringel (pre-scheduled, Dana Robin)
- Begin your Mitzvah Project, if you haven’t already started
Approximately 5 Months Before Becoming B’nai Mitzvah
- Begin one-on-one tutoring: 16 Sessions, 30 minutes each
3-4 Months Before Becoming B’nai Mitzvah
- Family Meeting with Rabbi Sirkman and your partner family (scheduled by Julia Coss)
- Meet with your Drash coach
- Check-in meeting with Cantor Oringel (pre-scheduled, Dana Robin)
2 Weeks Before Becoming B’nai Mitzvah
- Submit your Aliyah/Honors Form to the LT Office (Julia Coss)
- Rehearsal in the Sanctuary with partner and Cantor Oringel (pre-scheduled, Dana Robin)
- Email Drash & Photo, to be featured in The Weekly (Julia Coss)
The Friday Night and Saturday Morning of the B’nai Mitzvah Prior to Yours
- Welcome your community and open the Ark (Friday night)
- Support the family becoming B’nai Mitzvah before you. Greet them during their service! (Saturday morning)
The Week of Becoming B’nai Mitzvah
- Full rehearsal with family in the Sanctuary with Cantor Oringel (pre-scheduled, Dana Robin)
- Review the schedule, livestream and answer any questions
Becoming B’nai Mitzvah – Friday Night
- Most Fridays of the Month – 7:00 p.m. (Check the LT calendar for 6:30 p.m. start times)
- Experience your first moment of leadership as you Become B’nai Mitzvah. Your family will light Shabbat candles and make Kiddush.
Becoming B’nai Mitzvah – Saturday Morning
- 8:30 a.m. – You are welcome to take photos around Larchmont Temple.
- 9:30 a.m. – Picture time with the Torah, in the LT Sanctuary!
- 10:30 a.m. – The service begins!
- Share everything you have worked so hard to learn with your Larchmont Temple community, family and friends.
… Continue Your Jewish Journey in Living Covenant…
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THE KESHER TUESDAY ITINERARY:
TUESDAYS 3:30 – 5:30 PM
T’FILLAH & SHIRA
Joining together in song and prayer. A hands-on training for leading the community.
HEBREW
Build your Hebrew reading skills and prayer confidence
Grade 6: In Person + Zoom
Grade 7: 1:1 Zoom
DOIN’ DRASH
Deep Dive into your Torah portion and the start of your Drash/Torah Teaching
THE B’NAI MITZVAH ESSENTIALS
Jewish ritual objects and Jewish values in action
APPLYING FOR A VISA
Who am I?
How do I bring my best self to becoming B’nai Mitzvah?
CHOOSING A LENS
Learning the language of the spirit, and becoming the author of our hearts
CORE JEWISH LEARNING PROGRAM
Being a Jew today, Holocaust, Israel, Jewish identity and more
- Library of the Blessing Practice Videos
- B'nai Mitzvah Siddur: A Guide for Leading Shabbat Morning Worship
- What do we do on the Friday night before my child(ren)'s B’nai Mitzvah?
- You will be called up to light candles and say the Kiddush (see video below).
Mitzvah Project Planning Guide
What is a Mitzvah Project?
Completing 13 hours of community service is a core part of the B’nai Mitzvah process. Through the Journey of Becoming curriculum, learners explore Jewish values like tikkun olam (repairing the world) and ethical mitzvot.
A mitzvah project is where those values come alive. By giving your time and energy to an organization serving the community, you’ll make a real difference. This is about hands-on volunteering — showing up, helping, and learning — and discovering how your unique gifts can help repair the world.
When Should I Start?
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Good Practice: It’s never too early to start! But a good benchmark is to begin six months before your ceremony if you haven’t started already. This gives you enough time to make an impact, reflect, and weave your experience into your d’var Torah speech (drash).
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Long-Term Vision: This experience doesn’t end with your ceremony. This is a launching pad for a lifetime of service.
How Do I Find My Project?
Start by asking yourself three big questions:
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What am I good at? (skills and talents)
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What do I enjoy? (passions and interests)
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What breaks my heart so much that I feel called to change it?
Your answers will point you toward a project that feels authentic, meaningful, and energizing.
Ways to Explore Opportunities
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Mitzvah Project Opportunities List
We keep a growing list of organizations and projects — Click here to explore our database. -
Mitzvah Fair
A Tuesday in the Winter (Jan/Feb) following KESHER (check the calendar)
Come meet organizations (and Mitzvah Mester teens!) making a difference. Almost everyone who comes leaves with a project idea they were excited about. -
LT Family Mitzvah Corps
Monthly service opportunities for LT families. Serve, learn, and connect together. Sign up here! -
Talk with Daniyel
Our B’nai Mitzvah Specialist, Daniyel Berchenko, is here to help you brainstorm, connect with organizations, and support you in this journey.
(914) 834-6120 ext. 123
dberchenko@larchmonttemple.org
One of the most meaningful parts of our B’nai Mitzvah journey is helping our young people add their voice to a 2,000-year-old conversation through writing a drash (Torah teaching). It will share key themes and stories in the Torah portion, ask a Key Koshi (essential question) and explore answers, share rabbinic commentary, and ultimately add their own perspective and learnings.
The Drash Journey
| Time Before B’nai Mitzvah | Title | Description |
|---|---|---|
| During KESHER | Doin’ Drash | Learn the building blocks of writing a drash and compose the summary paragraph |
| 4-5 months | Family Meeting with Rabbi Sirkman | A deep dive into the stories, major moments and questions within the Torah portion! |
| 2-3 months | Drash Meeting #1 | Working with one of our rabbis or rabbinic intern, learners will be guided to write their drash |
| 1-2 months | Writing the drash | Following meetings and learning, B’nai Mitzvah will write their drash at home, bringing new drafts to continued meetings |
| 2 weeks | Publish drash in The Weekly | Share Final draft with Julia Coss and a photograph of B’nai Mitzvah learners |
Explore the stories in your portion:
How can we honor family and friends?
- Opening and closing the ark
- Chanting the Torah blessings
- Lifting and dressing the Torah
- Blessing the wine and challah
One month prior to your B’nai Mitzvah, Julia Coss will email you the Aliyah form. It needs to be returned two weeks prior to the B’nai Mitzvah date. On the form, you will indicate which family/friends will participate in the service. You can see a sample of Aliyah form here.
Can my non-Jewish family/friends participate?
YES! We welcome non-Jewish community members to participate as they are comfortable. When performing a Jewish ritual/blessing, we ask that they share the honor with other Jewish family/friends.
Bnai Mitzvah Orientation
Documents
Frequently Asked Questions
Timeline
- Photographers are welcome to arrive at 8:30am
- Cantor Oringel/Staff will be in the sanctuary from 9:30-10:00am to assist with Torah photography.
- 9:30-9:45am first family
- 9:45-10:00am second family
- Photography on the Bima should be completed by 10:00am, with all equipment cleared from the sanctuary to prepare for services.
- Families have equal time on the Bima for their pictures.
- Once the service has begun, no photography is allowed. You will receive a link to the livestream of the B’nai Mitzvah in the week that follows.
Torah Handling
- A clergy member or member of staff is responsible for removing the Torah from the ark and will guide family in holding, undressing and dressing it. Please wait for them to begin these pictures.
Sanctuary & Facility Guidelines
- Furniture, flowers and fixtures in the sanctuary should remain in place.
- Photographers should ensure aisles and exit doors remain accessible at all times.
- Posters and handouts in the sanctuary lobby should remain in place.
- Please use furniture appropriately and avoid standing on it.
- Please be respectful of the covenantal space and keep noise to a minimum.
Security & Outdoor Photography
- If families plan to take pictures outside the main entrance or garden, security should be notified, and a security team member should be present.
- Doors to the outside should remain closed
HOW do we offer the Blessing of our Hearts in just a minute or so, knowing we can never say all that we hope and pray for our child...
We offer a few Parent Blessing options:
- Select a blessing from a sacred source:
Our blessing for you is from the Talmud, but it is offered with all of our hearts:
May you live to see your world fulfilled
May your destiny be for worlds still to come,
and may you trust in generations past and yet to be.
May your heart be filled with intuition
and your words be filled with insight.
May songs of praise ever be upon your tongue,
and your vision be a straight path before you.
May your eyes shine with the light of holy words
And your face ever reflect the brightness of the heavens... [Talmud, Berachot 17A]
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We wish for you, _____________, to be a person of character: Strong-but not tough; gentle-but not weak. We wish for you to be righteous-but not self-righteous; Honest, but never unforgiving. Wherever you journey, may your steps be firm...trusting in life and in yourself. Whenever you speak, may your words bring gentle wisdom. May you know that there is a people, a rich heritage to which you belong, and from that sacred source, you are connected to all who dwell on earth. May the stories of our people be upon your heart, & the rhythm of the Torah dance in your soul. May the voices of the generations of our families move through you, and as you take your place among our people, may God's blessings fill your days and years. AMEN.
[Rabbi Sandy Eisenberg Sasso, adapted]
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May the One who blessed our ancestors Having brought blessing to the generations of our family, bring blessing to our daughter/son, _____________, who today becomes a B’nai Mitzvah. May God continue to be with you, _____________, and may you know the Presence of the sacred in your life. May you grow in body and spirit, In wisdom and humility, in sweetness and strength, To make real your greatest gifts, _____________, to bring blessing to others and love to those who touch your heart. May you know our love for you is beyond words, and, so too, know, the blessing you are in our lives. This day and always.... AMEN.
[adapted from Rabbi Ron Aigen]
-- - Create a blessing from your highest hopes and innermost heart:
Rachel, know today and every day, we are honored to be your parents...You have been blessed with a gentleness that draws others to you and a genuine empathy...You are such a blessing to us! You have inside of you amazing warmth and love. You put others before yourself. You sparkle with strength and tenderness. As we think of your limitless future, we wish for you so much. May you have the joy and fulfillment of family. May you continue to have the courage to be yourself and follow your dreams. May you continue to be filled with compassion. May you have the strength of always knowing who you are and where you came from. And may God bless you and keep you and grant you love all the days of your life. AMEN.----
Ben, Children shouldn't be copies, but different and better people, not widgets, but works of art. Mom & I are joyously discovering that we can mold and shape wonderful children. You have your Mom's sense of humor and my quiet delivery. You share my love of science and her analytical skill. At the same time, you set a standard for us both with your compassion and your unquestioning love for people and animals. Ben, on this day, you become a Jewish adult. May you not stop-but continue becoming a better person, a better Jew. May you do so not alone, but with the help of others, as Moses himself does in your Torah portion. And may you and I continue our friendship, with me teaching you a little more about life, and you teaching me more about your Jewish faith. Bless you, Benjamin. You honor me. AMEN.
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My darling Lydia, you have been a blessing since the first day we found out that we would be your parents. From the moment you arrived, you have been a fiercely independent and curious little girl with a natural kindness, and you make us so proud. In Judaism, the number seven is associated with wholeness and perfection. Today, as we recognize and celebrate the young woman you are becoming, Dad and I offer you seven blessings, each like a thread, weaving together a tallit that will shelter and protect you as you step into adulthood as a strong, compassionate, and wise young woman.- May you hold on to your independent spirit. It is the foundation of your identity, the thread that will keep you steady as you walk through life. Stand firm in your convictions, trust in your voice, and remember that while independence is a gift, it is also a responsibility—to yourself and to those who look to you for guidance.
- May you stay curious, question everything, and seek out knowledge with the same passion that has defined you from the start. Never stop asking why, and never settle for an easy answer where a deeper truth exists.
- May your kindness flourish and nourish those around you. Surround yourself with people who reflect that kindness, and do not allow cruelty to take root in your life.
- May you always seek the truth and speak with honesty. Let your words be thoughtful but fearless, let your actions reflect your values, and let honesty be the guiding thread that ties together your relationships, your dreams, and your place in the world.
- May you find a community that brings you joy and support and meaning. May you always find strength in those who love you and, in turn, strengthen others by being part of something greater than yourself.
- Never back down from a fight you believe in. Never be afraid to choose your own path. May you always have the courage to speak when others are silent, to stand when others kneel, and to walk forward even when the path is uncertain.
- Strive to be beautiful from the inside, and it will shine through. Seek out beauty in all its forms: in art, in nature, in love, in moments big and small. Celebrate the beauty in yourself, others, and in the world.
Lydia, as you step into this new chapter of your life, know that you are wrapped in these blessings, just as you are wrapped in love. Mazel tov, my beautiful girl. We love you
Yes! You are always welcome. You never need an invitation to attend a service at LT.
Larchmont Temple welcomes all family and friends to participate during the service. Especially for honors in Hebrew, non-Jewish honorees should be paired with Jewish honorees. Julia Coss will request this form in the month leading to becoming a B’nai Mitzvah.
The Temple provides a ceremonial kiddush of challah on Saturday morning. A more elaborate kiddush is the responsibility of the B’nai Mitzvah family.
Social functions can be sponsored by the B’nai Mitzvah family. These functions can take place immediately following the ceremony, or on Saturday evening. Their scheduling receives priority on the Temple's calendar. Two families sharing the date can rent either the Garden Room or Social Hall for their event and will share the caterer since we can accommodate only one caterer in the kitchen at a time. Events must be scheduled well in advance in consultation with the Temple's Executive Director, Jane Sable-Friedman at (914) 834-6120 or jsfriedman@larchomttemple.org.
All date changes are organized through the B'nai Mitzvah Committee. We understand that scheduling years in advance can sometimes mean changes need to happen. We do our best to help in these situations.
The committee can be reached: ltbbmcommittee@gmail.com
They will share any possible options. If none of these new dates work for your family, you will be added to the waitlist upon request. If/when dates open up, the committee will reach out to you.
Becoming B’nai Mitzvah is a rite of passage for all Jewish young people. We look forward to partnering to find the right path for your child.
Please reach out to Rabbi Eve Rudin at erudin@larchmonttemple.org or Cantor Oringel at koringel@larchmonttemple.org or by calling LT, (914) 834-6120, to discuss.
Ushering is a way of supporting the family becoming B’nai Mitzvah before you by acting as greeters during their service. It emphasizes our commitment to being a covenantal community. You will greet guests the way your guests will be greeted by the family after you! This is also a helpful refresh of Shabbat services
- Friday night of the B’nai Mitzvah prior*
- Welcome the community
- Open the ark for Aleinu
- Saturday morning of the B’nai Mitzvah prior*
- Welcome the community
- Bring the challah and wine forward at the end of the service
*Please note: The B’nai Mitzvah prior might not be the week prior. Please check the temple calendar.
B'nai Mitzvah Resource Files
Here you will find Cantor Oringel's videos of blessings and other resource files. Click icons to browse or download contents.
Photos courtesy of Chad David Kraus Photography